My “V8 moment” (Hold the juice)

Have you ever had a “should’ve had a V8 moment” and no it has nothing to do with the juice? What I mean is that I just had a moment where I wanted to smack myself in the forehead because of something I said. I am a mother of a very rambunctious toddler. She gets into everything, has tons of energy and rarely understands that no means no the first time. I love my daughter and therefore I discipline her when her actions call for it. She is a loving and sweet child but just like adults she has her days where she is snappy, shutting herself away from the world. On days like this I find myself telling her “Janessa, don’t be mean!”

Flash forward to just a moment ago, I am in my office having another work through lunch when a couple of coworkers walk past my desk. As I am eating I hear one of them ask what it is that I am eating. “Chicken Alfredo”, I said. With a snarky smirk on his face he says, “That doesn’t look anything like chicken alfredo!” He then proceeds to laugh with another coworker walking out the door. His reply should have been just that, HIS reply. Before I knew it my witty comeback urged its way out saying, “I don’t recall asking for your opinion!” Not sure if he heard me because as he was walking out he also muttered, “Smells good though.” Conviction radiated through me almost instantaneously.

I should've had a V8 moment

                                           The Holy Spirit’s conviction is beautiful like that.

So I reflected on the situation.Why is it that I felt the need to retaliate? I know I am not the best cook but I also know that this does not diminish my value as a woman, person and most importantly a child of God. So again, why did I let one small comment get to me so immensely that I felt the need to duplicate snarkyness and pay it forward?! In this moment I told myself out loud “Don’t be mean Janessa!” I have been so accustomed to telling my daughter this every time she behaved in a malicious way towards anyone that when I was correcting myself her name was automatically inserted. I could not help but laugh at first and then I thought. How many of us actually practice what we preach? There have been other times like this where I post on a certain subject and then fail a battle and I sit shaking my head at myself. We all make mistakes but it is God who uses these mistakes to teach us and others through us.

The world will tell you that vengeance is ours. Your flesh will call for you to give an eye for an eye but what does that do other than make the whole world blind? There are evil forces that want you to believe and act in this way so that in the future we will rely on ourselves for justice. This is a false concept. The one and only true justifier is God himself. There is a healthy fear we are to have for the Lord, a fear that He is almighty and if we give into evil we will perish. The cross has already won the war but there are still very real spiritual battles we must face each day. Great news is we do not have to face this battle alone. God is always by our side when we call on Him.

 

Sincerely,
4rm Partygirl to Praying Woman

“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.”

Psalm 37:24

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32 thoughts on “My “V8 moment” (Hold the juice)

  1. It is so, so hard to bite your tongue I spent decades being miserable because I couldn’t, I finally got a grip about 12 years ago, still things do slip and it is a daily battle, but my life has far less drama than it used to!

    • I know exactly what you mean. My life has far less drama as well but it is still a constant battle for me as I’ve always been sassy and quick with comebacks. I am slowly but surely learning that I do not always have to have the last word and always wanting to be right or self justified is not what life is about. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • When I saw this kitten I knew it would be perfect. 🙂 And yes it’s a small pet peeve of mine as well. (not the best cook)

  2. I think in this situation your comment was warranted. Office politics are strange. As long as it was said with a smile on your face, I think you stood up for yourself well and weren’t mean at all.

    • Yes I am all too familiar with office politics, and being in a predominately male field of work can sometimes leave me in a gray area. Honestly I don’t recall if I was smiling or not but I can assure you the feelings and thoughts I had as I said my comment were far from warranted. Don’t get me wrong I think it IS ok to joke about these things but I am learning just how sensitive I can be with certain areas in my life and to top it off I am a loud, sassy in your face, confrontational person. What I am learning in situations like this is self-control. A fruit of the Holy Spirit that, at times, I am severely lacking. Thank you so much for your perspective!

    • That was my mentality and honestly in the midst of anger sometimes it’s the case. But I believe the higher road should be aimed for at all times. I think this is a personal issue for someone like me who doesn’t shy away from confrontation. For someone who never sticks up for themselves I would say to them to ask God for the courage to confront but ask for the wisdom to decide when it’s the right time. Thank you so much for your perspective. 🙂

  3. See I’m the total opposite, usually when people say something snarky to me I get all flustered and don’t know what to say other than look shocked and dumbfounded. Then 5 minutes later after going over the incident over and over again in my mind I think of the perfect comeback! I think it’s human to let your emotions take over sometimes. I think you have to ask yourself why you have an issue with what the other person said. A lot of times your need to respond is more about you then about them. So ask yourself what about that persons statement upsets me? Is it something I’m insecure about already? Does it bring back memories of a negative incident? Usually getting down to the bottom of your feelings about the situation will help you in the future.

    • That’s actually something I am looking into. There are definitely areas where I see myself being easily offended compared to areas in which the negativity just rolls off my back. I know personally I am not a good cook but it’s an area I am currently working on so it does make sense when I get a negative critique that I jump on the defensive. I think you hit some spot on points that I will try to keep in mind next time I face a similar situation. Thanks Winter!

    • Thank you, same here! I believe acknowledging areas that we need work on is the first step to building better habits. Progress!

  4. I find myself in many situations in life that I have to bite my tongue, and often it happens at work – doesn’t it? Sometimes I want to lash out, but then I’d look like some crazy person because I’m always super nice lol…”WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU NANCY!?” hahaha

    • Well when you think about it where do most people spend most of their time? At work so it’s more likely to have a “crazy” moment while at work. Lol We all have our days where we’re a bit more on edge and can take less negativity thrown at us. At least that’s how I feel so I took a picture of a coworker and I with ducktape over our mouths. The caption reads “JUST ZIP IT!!!” It’s my daily reminder that everything that pops in my head does NOT always have to find it’s way out. As you can see it doesn’t work everyday but it most certainly helps. Another thing that I am blessed with is I have a couple coworkers who are my accountability partners and vice versa. When any of us are having bad days or moments we can go to each other, talk about it and pray over the situation. Beleive it or not it has helped me get past some really difficult days! 🙂

  5. I’m not so good about biting my tongue either when people make snide comments. I’ve become better at replying with more grace though. I don’t think it comes from a place of ‘retaliation’ for me as it does like WHY would you even feel the need to make the comment in the first place, it’s so rude and disrespectful.

  6. I don’t blame you for answering back and I don’t think your reply was really so bad. You think it is because you know you reacted emotionally because the comment hut a nerve and you were probably already tired and not in the mood, but really it was not so bad to say, basically, “Who asked you?” Truly, unless the guy is a really close friend of your and you guys joke on that level, then he was kind of out of line IMO. Of course, it is always better but to let things like that get to us but as women in our culture we are made to feel we need to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly. We try so hard so when we are criticized every now and then it strikes and nerve because we aren’t perfect even though society makes us feel like we are supposed to be. We do SO much these days. Not only are we moms and housewives and everything that goes with it which is more than ever with all the running around and such we have to do with our kids, but we have to work now, too! Most of us also volunteer at our kids’ schools and even work second jobs or do things like blogging to make some extra money. So, yeah, we might get a little snarky here or there, but honestly, I think we earned it.

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